"I don't care" - I just don't

This week I found out that my twin soul has got married, and since I met him I wanted to marry him so it was a bit of a shock. We are not together or even in contact but for those who feel their hearts calling you may understand this. Within my upbringing I was a witness to my brother having major mental health issues which from my perspective stemmed from so many aspects of life becoming too much and also something going on within his system. I feel I am at risk of comparing my heart break to a possible mental breakdown. But for the sake of wanting to activate my own 'inner caretaker' I will put that to one side and focus on my own experiences. Since experiencing kundalini awakening in 2017 and building and developing my Psychic abilities I am aware of the spiritual realm and the physical realm and how they coalesce, in a way this is my biggest challenge at the moment. Attempting to allow my physical experience to be complimented and supported by all that exists in the spiritual realm.

Caring

My reaction on finding out about the possible marriage I woke in the middle of the night and remembered as though someone had died and I just remembered and felt the upset all over again. I felt confused and then also felt humbled as I have moved on and feel happy with my own personal relationships. But then in the couple of days that followed I felt aware my heart beat was fast and also I had pain in my heart. I became aware that although I don't care and on a certain level I don't, it doesn't matter, my heart was hurting and I reached out to some friends for support.

And I have come up within the notion of having an 'inner self loving caretaker'. The way we can have an 'inner child' and so on what if I could develop an inner caretaker that keeps an eye on how I am feeling, on what I need and also on what I love and adore. But also the side points, the sub text to my inner caretaker. Such as I absolutely love going for a run, on my own with my playlist, with my best running friend Amy or with RunTalkRun in Frome. I love it and I feel confident running now much more than when I was younger. But when I have a cold, or I am done in from working what I need is my inner care taker to pull me aside and say 'Jen, you need to have another option here'. When you're feeling this way there is other things you can do such as 'chat over the phone with your friends' and go for a stroll listening to soothing forest music instead of high impact playlist. My inner caretaker is and will be a part of me but after finding out this information in the 3d world I need to be prepared.

Have you ever had a time when you need to take a step back and look after you? When experiencing a shock or heart break?

Please share this, I would love to hear about this.

Jen